Song Title: Hip-Hop Hanukkah


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Hip-Hop Hanukkah

Verse 1:
'Twas the night before Hanukkah
and all through the nation
Jews were busy preparing
for this sacred celebration

The menorah was set
by the chimney with care
the songbooks were open
and ready for prayer

I could feel the pangs
of my chocolate cravings
hoping soon to be munching on
that golden gelt savings

The kids were fast asleep
visions of toys in their heads
a smell was wafting through the air
of fresh rye breads

But this year I decided
it was time for a change
something old Orthodox dudes
might think of as strange

After all the boring rituals
and singing is done
let's party into the night
and really have some fun

Chorus:
Have a hip-hop Hanukkah
get into the groove
spin around like a dreidel
and bust a Hebrew move

Come light the menorah
raise your hands in the air
sip that Manischewitz
like you just don't care

Verse 2:
From inside the kitchen
came an unholy clatter
but it was just ol' grandma
making the potato latke batter

At the table were
Morty, Abraham and Rabbi Shmuley
all frowning at the kids
running around so unruly

There was talk of bar mitzvahs
and of constipation
and the annual winter Florida
retirement migration

But I was tired of all this
old school holiday crap
so I jumped up on the table
and launched into a gangster rap

Spitting rhymes about
thugs, pimps, and hoes
and girls shopping for bling
and fancy designer clothes

My entire family almost
fell out of their seats
giving me looks like I had eaten
some unkosher meat

But I gotta shake things up
throw out the bagels and lox
do whatever it takes
to make sure this Hanukkah rocks

Chorus:
Have a hip-hop Hanukkah
get into the groove
spin around like a dreidel
and bust a Hebrew move

Come light the menorah
raise your hands in the air
sip that Manischewitz
like you just don't care

Verse 3:
Up on the roof
I heard a commotion
but they were just installing the satellite dish
I bought on promotion

Like a DVD player
or a flat screen display
it's time to start celebrating
in a more modern way

Enough with the yarmulkes
Maccabees, and menorahs
the purifying oils
and biblical torahs

We'll have 8 days of partying
for the Festival of Lights
taking old Judaic traditions
to 21st Century heights

I'm going to slam dunk this Hanukkah
like a basketball hoop
make it hotter than a bowl
of matzo ball soup

For those religious naysayers
who think I'm blasphemous scum
you can kiss my ass
all I have to say is shalom

Chorus:
Have a hip-hop Hanukkah
get into the groove
spin around like a dreidel
and bust a Hebrew move

Come light the menorah
raise your hands in the air
sip that Manischewitz
like you just don't care

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