I wrote the lyrics and melody for Missing Socks, but did not record my own version of the song. Instead I paid Douglas Haines to record it for me.

Song Title: Missing Socks


Click Here to download the MP3 file for Missing Socks

Missing Socks


Verse 1:
Everytime I fold my laundry
into a neat little pile
a thought crosses my mind
makes me crack a smile

It's a great unsolved mystery
the perpetrators unknown
clues leading you straight
into the Twilight Zone

This little crime goes unreported
we chalk it up to bad luck
not worth worrying about something
that costs under a buck

Facts get hidden away
year after year
buried deep in the past
but a pattern remains clear

So I set out on a quest
a search for the Holy Grail
to investigate this puzzle
in every minute detail

In the case of the lost laundry
I'll make like Magnum P.I.
gather up all the info
then catch the bad guy

Chorus:
Where do all the missing socks go
Were they abducted by a UFO
or used by some kids
for a sock puppet show

I've searched for answers
but I still don't know
where it is that all
those missing socks go?

Verse 2:
Do they get lost when I put them
into the hamper
or when I'm not looking
in every direction do they scamper

Should I go out and hire
a sock detective
or is that my dryer
came factory defective

Do the holes get bigger and bigger
'til the sock slowly fades away
or does somebody steal them
to sell on eBay

Maybe they're all lounging around
way up in sock heaven
be they small or large
or mediums 5, 6 or 7

Do the socks all know to meet
in some secret place
maybe hookup with an old slipper
or broken shoe lace

I know if I can ever find
their secret location
guys all over the world
will give a standing ovation

In that place I'd see socks of
red, white and blue
argyle and wool
100% cotton and tube

Socks all rolled up
into little sock balls
socks given as presents
and bought in jam packed malls

But try as I might
fugitives they remain
no answers to be found
as I rack my brain

Forever will I search
for these socks so elusive
or at least until I find
some evidence more conclusive

Chorus:
Where do all the missing socks go
Were they abducted by a UFO
or used by some kids
for a sock puppet show

I've searched for answers
but I still don't know
where it is that all
those missing socks go?

I've searched for answers
but I still don't know
where it is that all
those missing socks go?

------------------

Reviews of the Douglas Haines version of Missing Socks on the ReverbNation.com Crowd Review service (song score: 6.9 out of 10):

  • I like this guy, he is like a poet or something. just one man and a guitar and he done one heck of a good job. i listened to the lyrics and they are great, very bizzare ha. i love the guitaring to this track and his singing is very eunique, i give it 8/10.
  • The vocals are really pure in this song. I like the story behind it too. I could imagine this being on the radio, or sung at a cafe. It makes me feel nostalgic which is pretty cool. Lyrics are actually really funny! I just realized this song was about socks. The melody is chill and calming.
  • This song has a lot train of thought. as soon as the artist started singing he lyrics were confusing it gave me mixed feelings. I didn't know how to feel about the song. the artist seemed like he didn't know what he was doing. the beats were lame in this song they were really corny it doesn't have verses or chorus but the contrasting sections were terrible.
  • Simple guitar intro brings the listener to the story, as told by the vocal. Nice, clear vocal that is not bogged down by effects or heavy instrumentation. The lyrics are strong and the imagery is notable, except you harp too much on socks and not what the story starts out to be. Maybe it's supposed to be that way but ... Oh, and I'm a Rockford gal, myself.
  • At the beginning of the track is an bass and a acoustic guitar and they sound like they are at a bon fire. the way the man sings sounds like a country western singer and he just kind of talks with the melody. the lyrics are very minor they don't mean much and they don't match with the emotional music. I do like the female who sings under him they blend very well.
  • I don't like the start of the song and I think the singer sounds really bad and he should try a different genre. i think i have just rated 2 other songs by you and my thoughts aren't going to change. the lyrics are really weird also! big fat 3 for you!
  • The vocals make the song sound like its decades old. The lyrics are very strange and random. The song kind of makes me laugh while I listen to it. The singer makes me think of my funny older uncle, that is how he sounds at least. Maybe it would be a good song to teach kids about keeping an eye on their things?
  • I think I hear SUPER low violin in the start, which is the only instrumental at the start. I suggest you tone that violin louder because no one can really hear it. The male singer has a weird tempo at times, but it was not too common. The lyrics should get changed into a more interesting topic expect from socks to begin with.
  • Cool relaxing soothing guitar in the beginning and through out the song. The lyrics are kind of childish and something a song should not be sung about. I really hate country music because they are all the same and the vocals all sound the same and are very annoying. i really do not like it.
  • The guitar notes hinted at so much nostalgia to this tune. The simple soft sound was wonderful to listen to. The track could have used a little more musicality and musical evolution. The over all tune after a while became too repetitive and the melody too simple. The lyrics were creative and had humor. The singer's voice was nice, but he sang at times faster than the music called for. Nevertheless it was enjoyable.
  • This song has a very adorable theme, with some very creative rhymes and lyrics. The metaphor with the laundry is quite intriguing, but is definitely not too relate-able for a wide spread audience. The instrumentals are perfectly fine for what they are trying to do, that is, providing a good progression and tone to accompany the vocals. In terms of the rhythm, it is also perfectly fine and actually a bit catchy; however, it just doesn't have a very traditional progression and rhythm to be a hit. As a listener, I didn't find this song to be very relate-able, either, but it's still cute, nonetheless. Overall, I wouldn't think this song would be on the radio, not as a major or a minor hit.
  • Nice guitar start I always like that. The easy lyrics make it a nice. Very funny lyrics but it is something that everyone can relate to. Sounds like a very english folk song that would be great to listen to while folding the laundry! Very fun lyrics. Could be a great song to play in a preschool or maybe in a classroom.
  • I really enjoyed this song, especially considering the genre it is in, out of most of the songs I have heard on here today, this one has to be one of the best one, considering how unique and original the tone, pitch, and melody really making, even though it feels like there is a lack of a real beat, which makes the lyrics better to understand however.
  • I dont like the message hes trying to get across. The words he uses are outdated like no one uses the word "twilight" anymore. By using outdated words people wont be able to get what he means. I dont like the song at all. The beat isnt appealing.
  • This song is amazing! The introduction pulls you into the song like a magnet. the first verse is very well balanced with good vocals and well balanced instrumental parts. The background music is my favorite and could be a song in itself. your talent is undeniable, and I hope you keep up with your work.
  • The lyrics are very pointless. I don't understand the point of the song. The artist does not seem very experienced. His vocals are not very good. I don't think that a long about lost laundry is going to be very commercially successful. The guitar is very soft, which makes the pitch problems of the artist more apprentice.
  • This song reminded me of an old folk tale told in music class in 4th grade. It's a very relaxing song and the slow strumming acoustic guitar is very peaceful. I like the way it tells a story instead of being repetitive like most songs. The artists voice is unique and I like how the whole song rhymes and keeps a steady rhythem. Solid 7 out of 10.
  • The guitar is pretty good. It is soft and soothing. The lyrics are easy to hear but the lyrics make no sense whatsoever. There is no point of singing this song. The male vocalist has a terrific voice though. The instrumental only has one instrument so it doesn't vary at all. The song has a very strong rhythm. Overall, the song has ballanced sounds but lacks of lyrics. These lyrics are very poor.
  • The song is an easy listening country song. If you like Kris Kristofferson songs, you will like this song. Although, it is a once of type of song that you would not mind hearing on the radio but you would not add it to your play list.
  • The intro was soothing. The vocals were perfect for the lyrics and music. The lyrics were intriguing and was about laundry and mystery. The back ground music was calming. The harmony was good. Overall, a calming song but pretty average, with nothing big to improve on.
  • It starts off as a nice melodic song. The sound is fantastic in this tune. The singers vocals are fantastic and he really does a good job at pulling this song together. It's a great piece with really good music and vocals, well done to the band and i hope they do well.
  • The introduction is very calming, and it reminds me of folding laundry on a Sunday afternoon. I don't like the aesthetic the vocalist is giving the song. The rhymes in the lyrics are very basic and predictable. The lyrics sound as if it's supposed to be comedy, but the voice is too raspy and serious to feel like a comedy.
  • This sounds like a campfire song. The singer isn't really singing but more like storytelling. At the same time, it is interesting. So, he is singing about doing something good. Is he singing about UFOs? "Where did they go?" So he is searching for something good in life. Okay, so he is saying what everyone else is thinking. Okay, this song has no beat and no instruments except for a light guitar but is still intruiguing to listen to. The singer sings about random things in the song: Ebay, socks, detectives. This song is random because I had no plans to listen to this. The whole song is about socks. This is something different. To sing about socks, so the lyrics are food for thought.
  • I wondered from the first lyrics if this was some kind of comedy song. ... Ah okay, it is a comedic song. The lyrics sound meaningful, but really it comes out nonsensical. The theme of the song is scattered and it seems like someone but put together the most random thing they can think of and put it against a country folk music background. It's not even really funny. It's more of a ''What the... ?" as I continued listening to it. Is that what the song is about? Missing socks? That's a theme you don't hear much about.
  • I always find this type of music makes me smile. this song has a sweet back beat. a nice story throughout which makes you smile and laugh or chuckle even sometimes. it reminds me of my grandfather as he used to listen to a lot of songs like this. humorous songs.
  • Really cool song. the male vocals are really cool as well. the lyrics are awesome to listen to.the guitar player is really talented. this is a fun song. reminds me of camp around the fire. i enjoyed listening to this song very much. he has a lot of great questions we need the answers to. good job everall 9/10.
  • The guitar at the beginning is beautiful. This song stand with a guitar that is slow for a wail. but you can in joy it. the a man start singing. he's song is nice and the melody is like a true story. But the lyrics, are, rear. It's just taking about socks, witch is weird. Is not a thing I will hear or listen. everything is nice but the lyrics need a change. So go and fix that and then I will tell you what I think.
  • Hilarious song! Too many men becoming househusbands. I am sure there is a market for this song somewhere. Song has good vocals, creative melody, and lyrics. It is original, and I am happy to hear it. The instrumental choices are good and sound like a real guitar and not synthesized. It has very good acoustics. If this isn't on YouTube maybe you should put it there. Any way make sure people get a chance to hear it.
  • The sensitive singer interestingly begins this folk song about doing his laundry. One really hopes this means the beginning of a creative and different musical composition. By the time he reaches lyrics about his socks being in sock heaven one is extremely disappointed because he might be serious about such a ludicrous phrase. There is a chance giving one great hope that this is supposed to be a humorous song about missing socks, it has a good melody, but a line concerning using them for puppets seems utterly serious. The singer should really think about changing this song to one that is supposed to be funny.
  • A fun track to listen to that everyone can relate to. The music has a repetitive pattern. The lyrics are clear. The artist has a memorable sound but has a limited range in vocal styles. Fun to listen to if you are wanting to smile about something we all experience.